Glenn has left me.

He’s been building up to it for well over a year, and finally the day has come where he said goodbye.

About six years ago Glenn and I went to see a documentary called Six Ways to Santiago. Our dear friend Kim (of The Yellow Envelope book, in which Glenn and I have a cameo!) was about to set out on an adventure to walk 500 miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago (she wrote about her experience here). We went to see the movie to get a better idea of this ancient walking pilgrimage that she was about to do (and that she has since walked again with her toddler!). 

Coming out of the movie Glenn said, “I’d like to do that someday,” while I simultaneously said, “I don’t think I’d enjoy that.” We were in the middle of planning our big six-month trip around the world, which wasn’t going to include Spain, so that was the end of it – or so I thought. But the seed was planted.

Fast-forward a few years and Glenn and I found ourselves entertaining ideas for where we’d like to travel next. We both had our updated bucket lists, so we started comparing notes. Walking the Camino de Santiago was at the top of his list…and it was nowhere to be seen on mine. 

For as much as Glenn and I are the same, we are also quite different.

I talked about this a bit in my last blog post about figuring out what makes me happy. He enjoys the simple pleasures in life like walking, eating baked goods, drinking good coffee and making new friends. I enjoy adrenaline-laden pursuits that often require a helmet and a liability waiver, or at the very least if I was going to be walking long distances, I’d want it to be far off the beaten path. 

Several years ago Glenn was diagnosed with a degenerative heart condition (he wrote about it here). Although things have stabilized, he still carries around the knowledge that at some point that might no longer be the case. He’s also had more than a few friends and family that have had their lives turned upside-down by serious medical issues including cancer, which adds to the sense that at any moment big traveling adventures might not always be possible…for either of us. 

While comparing bucket-list options it didn’t take long for us to arrive at the idea of traveling separately this year. Glenn turns 50 years old in December, so walking the Camino – solo – seemed like a perfect way to celebrate that big milestone. 

Yesterday I dropped him off at the airport. I won’t see him again for nearly 40 days until I fly to Spain to meet him at the finish line in the town of Santiago de Compostela. We’ll spend about 24 hours together, at which point he flies back home and I’ll be off on my own adventure for several more weeks. 

It’s been a really interesting experience…planning separate trips. Traveling together is what we do. It’s what we love. We’ve really never done it any other way. 

I’ve always been the one that plans the logistics of our trips. Glenn shares his ideas and opinions, but I generally take care of the details. I’ve never seen Glenn so excited as I’ve seen him in planning his Camino trip. He’s spent hours, upon hours, upon hours researching what gear to take, what terrain to expect, how best to manage blisters and everything in between. He’s active on several Camino-focused online forums and would share regular updates with me about who was walking (or running!) the path that week, what the weather was doing, where a walker found a good coffee shop, etc.

Half of the fun of travel is in the planning, and I hadn’t realized until now how much Glenn was missing of that fun by me always taking over the reins. I’ll have to try to change that in the future.  

I asked Glenn the other day what he was most looking forward to about not having me with him (and least looking forward to.) He said he was really excited by the prospect of only having to make decisions based on what he wanted to do. Although we travel well together, there is always a need to factor the other person’s desires into the mix. Being solo, everything he does will be based solely on what he wants (when to get up, where to eat, how fast to walk, how long to spend petting the roadside dog, etc.). For the flip-side of the coin he said, “you’re my best friend. I’m going to miss not having you there to share in the experiences along the way.”

I was recently talking with my friend Kat who has done a fair amount of solo travel, and she echoed Glenn’s thoughts…the upside of narrowing the decision considerations to being focused solely on what you – and only you – want to do, and the downside of not having someone to put your arm around when you take in the beautiful vista you just hiked up to.

Toward the end of our big six-month trip Glenn and I experimented a bit with going off on our own. At that point we were months in to spending 24-hours a day, 7 days a week with each other. We were finding that in the evenings we didn’t have much to talk about because we had shared all of the same experiences that day. By splitting up here and there, even if for only a few hours, we came back with fun things to tell each other about.   

Just prior to his departure we both took the day off of work. We wanted to make the most of the remaining hours before being separated by so many days and so many miles. We took care of some remaining trip details…like cutting his hair and sewing his Bigfoot patches onto his backpack.

But overall, it ended up being a sort of an awkward day – equal parts anticipation and sadness. We spent a fair bit of time sitting together in the living room having some version of this conversation: “So, what do you want to do?” “I dunno, what do you want to do?” “I dunno.”

In the end we decided to go get the emissions inspection done on the car…because that’s romantic. We also hit up a few of the places that had food Glenn loves and likely won’t find on the road in Spain (including a salad with horseradish dressing and french-fries?!?)         

I’ll miss Glenn terribly while he is away. Aside from the fact that he won’t be here to do my laundry (I don’t think I’ve done a load of laundry in almost 20 years), I’ll miss having my beloved sidekick for the little day-to-day things. 

But, I’m beyond excited for him and proud of him for setting out to do this. Walking 500 miles – alone – is no joke! I can’t wait to hear about his adventures and his misadventures. To see the trip through his eyes, and his eyes alone, instead of having my own version of the same experience.

If you’re interested in following along, he’s going to be blogging about his experience at “Glenn’s Sore Feet.” In the meantime, send him well wishes for days filled with buttery croissants and blister-free feet.